Oops! I Did It Again

Remember the little fit I threw about not liking being 34? Well to add insult to injury, I decided to start looking on the web last night at photos of people in bands who I either used to admire or thought were gorgeous. That was a mistake. They're so old.

In the 80's my favorite was David Glasper (whom you might remember from the band Breathe who sang Hands To Heaven, shown below as I remember him). In the 80's, they deemed him the man "too sweet for rock". First of all, Breathe was a SOFT rock band so I think he fit perfectly. I also think he aged well but those pics are hard to find.

Anyway, he was the only one who still looks amazing. Rick Astley looks like a bloated codfish. Mark Slaughter (Slaughter) looks like a witch. Neil Finn (Crowded House, below, now) looks like a blonde Paul McCartney. Gross.

In the 90's I loved Dave Matthews. What the hell was wrong with me? Talented, yes. Handsome, no. Plus he reminds me of a high-pitched, nasally Tom Hanks. I also adored Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) but again, same thing. Super talented but super ugly. Lane Staley (Alice In Chains) will forever be adorable due to his untimely death 9 years ago. Really the only person from my 90's list who is still hot is Shirley Manson (Garbage, below, now).

But isn't that like Hollywood and the music industry? They push you until you either crack and go Ricki Lake or end up in a mental hospital. Look at Madonna. She's as old (or older) than Neil Finn and David Glasper but she's in amazing shape. Still ugly to look at but she's got a smoking body. Somewhere between their second album and now, the men said "screw it". They made their money, married a model, and let it all go. The women seem to be in a constant battle to stay forever young.

What the hell is wrong with us? The serenity prayer teaches us to accept the things we cannot change. So why can't we? Yeah I can change my physical body. I can jump on the elliptical every day til I'm a size 6 again. Only problem with that is I'm highly impatient. If I got results like, oh I dunno, AS SOON AS I GET OFF THE ELLIPTICAL, I might be more inclined to work out. I CANNOT change wrinkles. Or spots. Or grays. Or creepy little veins.

Back to my original point. Apparently everyone gets old. And apparently it speaks volumes about you when you embrace it and work hard to combat it. With that being said, I'm going to go to the Clinique counter to get some anti-getting-old-and-ugly creams and serums and then I'm going to work out every day to get off this little boo-hoo-I'm-old-and-fat box! It's going to be a lifestyle change people so you can either get on board or hate me later!

Oooo, donuts...